


safe and sound

by alsoalsowik



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, and some kissing, bc yeah, post 59
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 18:24:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2238900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alsoalsowik/pseuds/alsoalsowik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She finds him in a clearing just outside the barn. He’s leaning against a small tree and staring at his hands. They’re shaking.</p>
<p>“Jean?” Sasha calls, walking softly towards him. She can see the pain on his face, hidden beneath his stoic expression. She wants to help. “Are you alright?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	safe and sound

**Author's Note:**

> posted on tumblr after chapter 59, so if you're not caught up to the manga there're some big spoilers ahead.

She finds him in a clearing just outside the barn. He’s leaning against a small tree and staring at his hands. They’re shaking.

“Jean?” Sasha calls, walking softly towards him. She can see the pain on his face, hidden beneath his stoic expression. She wants to help. “Are you alright?”

He doesn’t answer, just wraps his arms around himself and takes in a shuddering breath. Sasha takes another step and he looks up.

“I’m f-fine. Really. You can go back inside and take care of Levi’s wounds,” Jean says, his voice shaking more than Sasha knows he wants it to. He’s too proud to admit that he’s scared. She understands, of course. It’s  _hard,_  knowing that you could die at any moment. The fact that they’re fighting  _people_ —a whole other breed of monster—too makes it even worse. People are supposed to be safe, are supposed to help each other, not…this. Never this.

She sits down beside him. “I finished a few minutes ago. I wanted to make sure that you’re okay, Jean. You went through a lot today, after all.”

The boy beside her is silent. Jean won’t even meet her gaze; instead, he stares at the ground. His breaths are uneven, like he’s holding back tears, and it breaks Sasha’s heart. He’s not supposed to— none of them were  _ever_  supposed to—

They’re just children.

Children fighting monsters that shouldn’t exist other than to torment nightmares. Children fighting flesh and blood  _people_.

It’s not fair.

When Sasha looks back at Jean, he’s got his head buried in his arms. His whole body is shuddering, so she rests her palm on his back. He tenses, and then mumbles something.

“What was that?” she asks, rubbing circles into his back. It’s a trick her father taught her about soothing wild animals—not that Jean’s an animal, but it’s all she can think to do.

“I should’ve shot first.”

It’s muffled, but she hears him. Why on earth does he think that?

“Y-You saw how upset Armin was. I could’ve—I  _s-should’ve_  shot first, b-b-but…” he trails, voice cracking on the last word. He looks so small next to her. It’s horrible, seeing Jean this way. He’s supposed to be the cocky, overconfident brat that takes risks and never comes out hurt. But he’s not.

“It’s okay to be scared, y’know.” Sasha’s own voice is steady—quite the feat, given the circumstances. Jean’s her…she doesn’t really know what he is. He means a lot to her, though. It hurts to see him hurting.

“It’s n-not, though,” he whispers into the fabric of his shirt.

“Yes, it is. I mean, c’mon, we’re  _all_  scared. Our lives are terrifying. So you’re not,” she pauses, looking for the right wording, “any less of a person for being scared.”

He just shakes his head.

Sasha decides to step it up. She takes his head in her hands and pulls him up to look him in the eyes. “Look, none of this is your fault, you know that, right?”

“I-I…Sasha, I was too terrified to do anything and t-t-that’s why Amin had to—that’s why Armin  _killed_  someone. It is my fault. If I had—”

“Stop it, Jean! You did what any person would’ve done! None of us would’ve been able to do anything while looking down the barrel of a gun. Not one. Look, you’re brave and all, but when you’re literally  _staring death in the face,_  it’s normal to panic and freeze!” Her voice is rising and she’s sure her cheeks are red. But he has to understand.

He takes in a deep breath. “B-But—”

No, Sasha thinks, no more of this self doubt shit. It isn’t like Jean. She does the only thing she can think to do in this situation.

She yanks his head closer to hers and kisses him. It’s short, just a press of her lips against his, but it does  _something_  to him. Suddenly, he’s grabbing at her shirt and sobbing into her neck.

“I was so s-scared, Sasha,” he whimpers into the juncture of her neck and shoulder, “I was so sure that I was going to d-d-die…”

All she can do is hold him and whisper reassurances into his ear. “You’re okay now, though. You’re not dead; you’re right here, and you’re not going anywhere. It’s gonna be okay, Jean.”

He sobs like that for at least ten minutes, clutching her like a lifeline. Sasha just lets him—it’s not like him to break down so completely, after all. The only other time she’d seen him so upset was after Marco’s death.

When he finally lets go of her, he shoots her a weak smile. “Thank you, Sasha. Really.”

“It’s no problem, Jean.”

“You don’t understand…when I thought I was going to die, all I could think was that I wanted to be here with you.”

Her eyes widen. “W-What?”

“All of you,” he says quickly, “B-But  _you_  mean a lot to me. So, thanks. Again.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” Sasha starts, a nervous lilt to her voice, “so I’m glad that I could help you.”

Jean stands up then, offering her his hand to pull her up beside him. “We should probably get inside now, yeah?”

“Yeah. We should.”

He walks her into the barn and everything seems normal. But Sasha can’t help but worry. After all, it’s been a tough day for all of them. She sits down next to Mikasa and rests her head against the other girl’s shoulder.

“Jean okay?” Mikasa asks.

“I think so,” Sasha replies, closing her eyes. “At least, I hope so.”


End file.
